Seeing God at work through pain

Spiritual Life with Rosy Keane is a new monthly column on Salvos Online. Each month, Rosy, the Territorial Secretary for Spiritual Life Development, will share her thoughts and reflections on the spiritual issues that shape our lives as Christians, exploring how our faith intersects with our everyday experiences and how we can deepen our relationship with God.

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Many of us know pain. From illness or allergy, mental health or wholeness, curable or not, pain can short-circuit our thinking and reasoning, lay us up in bed for days or months on end, and derail life plans.

If COVID taught us anything, it was to respect our health and allow time to heal and recover, rather than ‘soldiering through’ at work and risking the health of others (it’s unfortunate that it’s often our concern about inconveniencing others that convinces us, rather than recognising our own need).

I find it interesting that two of my heroes of the faith in The Salvation Army – Catherine Booth and Samuel Logan Brengle – were ‘laid up’ for significant periods of time.

When Catherine was a child, she experienced a severe curvature of the spine, which meant she couldn’t leave her bed for months. During that time, she read the Bible right through multiple times. She later credited this season of wrestling through physical illness with spiritual fervour as part of forming the foundation of her deep theological development.

Catherine’s theology gave birth to much of the doctrine we continue to thrive on today.

Two giants of Salvation Army theology – Catherine Booth and Samuel Logan Brengle.

Samuel Logan Brengle, arguably The Salvation Army’s most well-known holiness theologian, was renowned too for his spiritual depth and vigour. When he was appointed to a corps in Boston in the early days of the Army, an enraged listener hurled a brick at his head. Brengle lay between life and death for days, and his eventual recovery took over 18 months, much of it in bed.

During that time, while unable to preach or lead in the traditional sense, he began writing articles on holiness for The War Cry. This marked the beginning of his holiness teaching ministry, eventually translated internationally and compiled into a series of books that are still referenced in our modern-day theology. Brengle later said, “If there had been no brick, there would have been no books.”

I have witnessed extreme resilience among the people who serve in The Salvation Army. We are those who persevere, survive and endure. We come from an intensely pragmatic movement, whose ‘sleeves rolled up’ and ‘saved to serve’ mantras push us into action, for ‘faith without deeds is dead’.

But what happens when sickness comes? What do we do when illness or doubt strikes, and we can no longer work in the way we once did? Do we keep going out of fear that we are not being good stewards of our gifts? What is balance? In the words of Pilate, what is truth?

“But you, keep your eye on what you’re doing; accept the hard times along with the good; keep the Message alive; do a thorough job as God’s servant” (2 Timothy 4:5 The Message)

For as long as I can remember, I’ve lived with near-daily pain. It was such a normal part of my life that I didn’t realise some things weren’t typical. (What, you don’t wake up with a headache every morning?) Years of medical appointments later, I found out last year that I had stage four endometriosis – a drastically understudied and underreported disease that can damage organs, inflame joints and compromise health in ways that currently have no cure.

I struggled with feelings of self-worth, self-doubt and self-pity. The message of 2 Timothy could have felt like a rebuke in the worst parts of my pain. But when we recognise that a ‘thorough job’ can be done in the spiritual realm and in life – not just in physical activity – we begin to see that periods or diagnoses of being ‘unable’ can unlock new ways of being and seeing if we let them.

Even when our bodies, minds or mental health limit us in very real and measurable ways, we can view the words of 2 Timothy 4:5 as encouragement, not rebuke. We can remain alert without overextending ourselves. These hard times will not last forever, and we can acknowledge that right now they are indeed difficult.

· What does the message of Good News look like when it is lived through your current reality?

· What does a thorough job look like when you receive your orders from God?

· Who is God asking you to be?

· What is God asking you to do?

· How are you working at being, rather than simply being hard-working?

I say this to myself as a reminder, too. We say we want to thrive, not just survive – but our own motivation can quickly thrust us out of the hammock of God’s grace and straight back into striving.

Will you join me in allowing the times we experience of being ‘laid up’ to lay us down?

Psalm 23 (NIV):

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Here, he will teach you and lead you, retire and rest you. Without the curvature of her spine, there may have been no theology of Catherine’s; without the brick, there would have been no holiness books from Brengle; without our own personal values and valleys, there would be no opportunity to lay our trust in the God who will lead us through.

When the valley comes, look for the Shepherd.