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- Meet the Officer – Captain Neil Gray
1. What is your current appointment and what do you find most satisfying about it? My current appointment is as Corps Officer, Palmerston NT, and SAES Response Coordinator NT, both located in beautiful Darwin, Northern Territory. I find great satisfaction in the change of focus this appointment has brought about. To shift from a managerial and clinical mindset to a ‘kingdom outcome’ mindset has been such a welcome change. What is satisfying about this is found in the space, time and room I have as an officer to really meditate upon and consider how I spend my time rather than simply working to a position description or otherwise commercial agenda. The lens this work is viewed through is the ‘kingdom outcome’ lens, and that deserves focus. It’s a satisfying way to approach the work. 2. Away from the appointment – if that’s possible! – what do you do to relax or unwind? I have been an avid student of karate (Soo Bahk Do) for around 14 years now. It has provided such a good balance of exercise and skills development over the years. I tried riding pushbikes for a while, but I was at risk of being arrested for cruelty to bicycles, so I don’t do that so much anymore but I do enjoy it. I am a musician and love to play music whenever I can. If I can’t get away with playing an instrument – say whilst driving a car or eating a raw sandwich, or having an important meeting and/or conversation etc. – then there will always be a good-quality speaker of some species playing some fully sick tunes not far away from me. I really love mowing lawns. I commentate the event as though it’s a sport on the Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (ESPN) or something. There are usually three commentators, and they commentate on style, speed, and chosen height of blade, and they come up with all sorts of history for the sport of lawn mowing. For example, here is an excerpt from the recent mow on the weekend just passed: Think ‘American Football’ commentators, or it won’t work! Commentator 1: “Jim, it looks to me like he is attempting the ill-fated parallel line crossover ... I mean, I haven’t seen anyone brave enough or dumb enough to try this since Vince Ritter-McCartney got laughed out of the competition when it all went horribly wrong for him in 1967. I mean, is that what we’re really seeing here? And do my eyes deceive me or is that a Honda HRU-19 he’s chosen for today’s contest?" Commentator 2: “Yeah, Ron, I can’t lie; that is what we’re seeing, and it is – as you say – unorthodox to say the least. One thing I will say is that his choice of mower shouldn’t even matter today because he brings enough class to the sport just by how good a lawn mower he is. And credit where it’s due, he wouldn’t be trying this at all at this level of competition if he didn’t have a rabbit up his sleeve.” Commentator 1: “You mean in his hat?” Commentator 2: “No, he’s not got the ... oh yeah, rabbit in his hat, it’s an ace up his sleeve; I got that kinda wrong.” Commentator 1: “Well hopefully he’s got both, coz he’s gonna need both; if this doesn’t work, he won’t be able to call himself a lawn mowing champion any longer.” Both commentators laugh awkwardly. 3. What’s a favourite Christian song, and why do you like it? I am an Amy Grant tragic. She has a song called, ‘Arms of Love’. I love this song. It’s so beautifully honest, vulnerable and open to God’s permeation of our lives. I would love to be this articulate in my relationship with God and with others. Until I am, I have Amy to sing on my behalf. 4. If you could have a good talk with a biblical character apart from Jesus, who would it be and what would you talk about? Elijah. I would talk to him – whether he wanted to or not – about what it felt like to go in the strength of the Lord. Elijah experienced the fullness of human fragility and the fullness of being on fire for God. The food that was provided to him at his lowest point gave him strength to do God’s work for 40 days, even though he wasn’t feeling it at all! What did the strength of the Lord feel like, Elijah? Were you dragged kicking and screaming from task to task feeling out of control, or was it easy, and did it just feel like you were smashing it out of the park? 5. If you were talking to a group of Salvationists and they asked if you recommended officership or not, what would you say? The safest thing for everyone in the event that this occurred would be to instantly produce a Candidates Secretary to field all future questions whilst I lean impressively against a wall or bench with a coffee in hand and a moody and enigmatic look on my face. But if pressed, I would absolutely recommend officership if you, firstly, want to serve God by building his Kingdom here on earth and you feel called to full-time ministry. I think that’s got to be the first and most crucial measure of whether officership is a good idea. Desire might come and go, but calling rarely goes anywhere. So, if that’s there, then good; I recommend officership. I also believe The Salvation Army is thinking differently these days about officership and our role. I know a lot of work, heartache and pain has been experienced by a lot of people in The Salvation Army – both officers and non-officers – as this transition and massive organisational change has occurred, but I want to say thank you to those who braved the trenches to get The Salvation Army to where it is today. I want to thank them all, and I want to let them know that it has been worth it, and The Salvation Army is better for it. It’s an exciting time to be an officer.
- The Power of Fire - NAIDOC Sermon with Aunty Clare Lena
Join Aunty Clare Lena on the beautiful Tweed River in Bundjalung Country as she reflects on this year’s NAIDOC theme: ‘Keep the Fire Burning! Blak, Loud and Proud’. Looking at Leviticus 6:12-13, Aunty Clare explores the importance of dedication, faithfulness, and upholding cultural responsibilities. She also urges us to remember that the God of this land was here from the beginning and that he has a plan for his people.
- Promoted to Glory Bulletin – Major Helen Newman
To view Helen’s Promoted to Glory notice, click here
- Promoted to Glory Bulletin – Major Margaret Redmond
To read Margaret’s Promoted to Glory notice, click here
- God Defining Moments - Major Stuart Glover
Major Stuart Glover shares his story of growing up outside The Salvation Army and initially finding the concept of soldiership baffling. As an engineer, he valued logic and reason, and for him, soldiership didn’t fit that mould. Yet, in his early 20s, Stuart felt a divine call to become a soldier. He wrestled with God, questioning the necessity and purpose behind this call, and through a time of deep reflection Stuart heard God’s clear message: “Get over yourself, and do what I want you to do. Be faithful, authentic, and available.”
- Not-quite-classic hits
As with many of you, I’m sure, I love music and have many favourite songs. Along with songs by famous secular artists and groups, I also have lots of Christian favourites. While many of these songs can be found in The Salvation Army song book, there are also quite a few contemporary songs of faith that mean a great deal to me. Here’s something you won’t know (because I just made it up), just as William Booth would ‘borrow’ the occasional secular tune and put Christian words to it, so, too, do many modern groups and individuals ‘borrow’ Christian songs and make slight adjustments to them. Below are some examples. ‘How Great is our Dog’ – The modern-day Chris Tomlin classic has been appropriated by the Mixed Dog Breeders’ Association of Australia as its promotional theme tune. It is sung with gusto at the commencement of all board meetings and is used in promotional videos and commercials. ‘ Onward Christian Solderers’ – This 19th-century hymn – so loved by generations of Salvationists – is now the official song of the Australian Christian Metalworker’s Guild. The words are even printed in their official handbook for new members. Apparently, in 1987 it won a close vote by members, the alternative suggestion being the riveting song, ‘Bind Us Together’. ‘Shine, Cheeses, Shine’ – This song was used in a cheese commercial shown on television in the 1990s, produced by the Australia Cheese Board. The ad was created to promote the purchase and consumption of cheese, and it worked extremely well: profits from cheese sales rose by 15 per cent while the ad campaign was still being conducted. ‘God is in the Mouse’ – Each Sunday morning at Disneyland, staff meet to worship Mickey and sing their favourite lines: ‘God is in the mouse, there is no doubt,/ God is in the mouse, can’t keep him out.’ These worship sessions pump staff up for another week of promoting all things Disney and have them evangelising fervently that Mickey is God’s mouthpiece to little boys and girls everywhere. ‘It Is Well With my Sole’ – The next time you go to a Mr Minit to pick up your shoes after getting repairs done, listen carefully and you’ll hear this song being played quietly in the background. As a matter of internal policy, all Mr Minit traders have been mandated to play this song on high repeat at their trade counters as a form of subliminal messaging to customers that your repairs have been completed well. ‘Crown Him with Many Crowns’ – At the 2018 National Cosmetic Dentistry Convention, a version of this Christian classic was played over the loudspeaker system as members arrived each morning. The opening lines were: ‘Crown him with many crowns,/ the man who loudly groans./ Hark, how the sound of buzzing drowns/ All screaming but its own.’ ‘King of Kings, Majesty’ – While his wife and family have picked on him for using it, apparently it’s the ringtone on the personal phone of King Charles III. Ego out of control or a fitting choice? You can decide. – Major Mal Davies is the Assistant Divisional Commander for the Victoria Division.
- Colac Corps opens new welfare and worship centre
By KIRRALEE NICOLLE After 135 years of delivering services to the region, Colac Corps has recently opened a $3.44m welfare and worship centre in the western Victorian town. The new Salvation Army complex features a drop-in centre, worship centre, playgroup area, meeting rooms, showers, laundry, and food pantry for those seeking assistance. Colac Corps Officer Lieutenant Paul Trotter said it had been a privilege to work on the project through his 18 months as the leader of The Salvation Army in Colac. He said the centre would serve the community over an extensive area taking in Colac, Winchelsea, Lorne, Apollo Bay, Cressy and Camperdown, providing financial, emergency and emotional assistance. Speakers at the official opening on 25 July included Chief Secretary Colonel Winsome Merrett, Victorian Divisional Commander Colonel Kelvin Merrett, Member for Wannon the Honourable Dan Tehan, Member for Polwarth Richard Riordan and Colac Otway Shire Mayor Councillor Chris Potter. At the opening, Colonel Kelvin Merrett said planning for the centre had begun in 2019 and was a continuation of the activities of the organisation in the area since 1888. “This building represents the commitment The Salvation Army has to the Colac community,” Kelvin said. “We’re here to stay.” Kelvin said the building was completely transformed from its former life as Australian Electoral Commission offices. “It’s a great facility that I’m personally very proud of,” he said. Kelvin also acknowledged the efforts of the community in volunteering and donations to the work of The Salvation Army. “The Salvation Army can’t exist without the support of the public,” he said. Some information sourced from the Colac Herald
- The Australia Territory’s Rallying Cry: Hope revealed
BY COMMISSIONER MIRIAM GLUYAS, Territorial Commander The Salvation Army Australia Territory has issued a ‘rallying cry’ as a callback to its Army roots, using slogans to unite and inspire our Salvationist troops. The rallying cry is ‘Jesus-centred, Spirit-led, hope revealed’. The rallying cry isn’t intended to add even more to our mission, vision, and values, but instead serves as a measure to draw them all together as we ask ourselves in all we do: ‘Is Jesus central to this?’ ‘Where is the Spirit leading us?’ ‘Where am I seeing hope revealed?’ HOPE REVEALED The Salvation Army Australia joins the international Army to join God’s work in the world. The Salvation Army has an international mission statement that sets the identity and direction for every command and centre that the Army operates: The Salvation Army, an international movement, is an evangelical part of the universal Christian Church. Its message is based on the Bible. Its ministry is motivated by love of God. Its mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and meet human needs in His name without discrimination. Today, I charge us each to take up our place in this shared vision: We are to be an ‘Isaiah 61, Luke 4’ people. The Spirit of the sovereign Lord is on us. We have to make sure, first and foremost, that this is true. We are to be ‘oaks of righteousness’ (Isaiah 61:3). The people of God have to put their roots down deep. They’ve got to be places where people want to come and shelter, where people find refuge, where we can sit and talk and explore together. If we’re not oaks of righteousness, we can’t do what God asks us to do. [As Isaiah 61:3 also says] we’re to bring ‘beauty for ashes’. We live in a world without hope. So, we’re to bring beauty instead of ashes. It’s The Salvation Army deal. Romans 8:24-25 says, “For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” We can have confident hope evidenced by our faith (Hebrews 11:1). We can have great belief in God’s promise to us (Romans 4:20-22). We can have resilient spiritual lives amid turmoil as we “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12). For those who are lost, scared, alone, afraid and in need of a saviour, Catherine Booth writes, “They looked, and longed for, the healing balm, the oil of consolation. They said: ‘Can I be saved? Do you think there is hope for such as I am?’ Oh yes, you poor Magdalene and legion-possessed men, there is hope.” The Holy Spirit’s life and work in us is a promise. It means we can positively say we have hope, for “My message and my preaching were not with persuasive words of wisdom but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power” (1 Corinthians 2:4). General Eva Burrows once said: “We all know the verse in Romans 8:28, ‘All things work together for good for those who love God’. I prefer the New International Version translation because it says, ‘In all things, God works for the good of those who love him and are called according to God’s purpose’. It’s not the ‘things’ that work, but it’s God who works in things.” Samuel Logan Brengle wrote, “Finally, the great work of this Holy Guest is to exalt Jesus; to glorify Him who humbled Himself unto the shameful and agonizing death of the cross; to make us to see Him in all His beauty; to knit our hearts to Him in faith and love and loyalty, conform us to His image and fit us for His work.” “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you” (Titus 2:11-15) As we stay faithful to God’s will and workings in The Salvation Army, professionally and personally, whatever expression, mission, ministry and part of the movement we are in, we will truly live out our rallying cry, ‘Jesus-centred, Spirit-led, hope revealed.’ and share Good News. “Wherever there is hardship or injustice, Salvos will live, love and fight, alongside others, to transform Australia one life at a time with the love of Jesus.” – Salvation Army Vision Statement “And, recognising that God is already at work in the world, we value integrity, compassion, respect, diversity, and collaboration.” – Salvation Army Values Statement “Not only has the Army resuscitated hope in despairing Christians, but among the poor, the lost, and the forlorn everywhere.” – Catherine Booth · CELEBRATING: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13). · CERTAIN: “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5). · CHILDREN: “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3). · CONSOLED: “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (Lamentation 3:21-26). · CHOSEN: “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations. He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory. In his name the nations will put their hope” (Matthew 12:18-20). · CONFIDENT: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1). · COMMISSIONED: “I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness—the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossian 1:25-27). The themes above are simply suggestions to help us focus our thoughts. They each relate to our identity and how we are meant to live in response; in our caring, creating, building and working. God of Elijah, hear our cry: Send the fire! To make us fit to live or die, Send the fire! To burn up every trace of sin, To bring the light and glory in, The revolution now begin, Send the fire today! (Thou Christ of burning, cleansing flame – William Booth) To view a conversation I had with Major Narelle Jacobsen from The Well in St Kilda, click here
- Meet the officer – Major Karen Armstrong
1. What is your current appointment and what do you find most satisfying about it? Currently, my appointment is team member to Central Victoria Salvos (CVS) – Eaglehawk Corps. While the title is new to CVS, the corps has a very rich history. This building is over 130 years old. I think this may be one of the oldest buildings we have left in Australia. I am sure there would be someone in the Army world who would know this. I really have enjoyed these last six months in building relationship with members of the congregation. They certainly are a corps who prays, which to me shows a strong spiritual health. Another area I enjoy is reaching into the community and meeting new people. I am once again going to be joining the Rotary Club of Eaglehawk and I have been asked to come along to the Dahlia & Art Festival committee. 2. Away from the appointment – if that’s possible! – what do you do to relax or unwind? The best way for me to relax is through my craft space. In my home I always make sure I have a section of the house so I can set up my craft table, sewing cabinet and, of course, make sure there is plenty of cupboard space for all my arts and crafts supplies (I think a crafter would understand this). Each evening before I retire, I have started to fill in a sketching book where I use different mediums of drawing or painting. I have found this a lot of fun and certainly relaxing. Just the other weekend at Bendigo, Craft Alive was on at the showground. For me, this was very exciting as it has been a while since I had been to one of these shows. So, to fit in between work commitments, I purchased a multi-pass and, over the three days, I was able to visit most of the booths and managed a couple of workshops too. And yes, I did come home with new projects. One being material to make another baby quilt. 3. What’s a favourite Christian song, and why do you like it? My favourite song is ‘Still.’ The lyrics include: When the oceans rise and thunders roar I will soar with you above the storm Father, you are king over the flood I will be still; know you are God. This song has been one of my favourites for a number of years now. I like the imagery in the words, and I see how I am safe in the arms of my Father God. Then there are songs from the Army song book, including ‘If His Presence.’ The lyrics include: So, we stand within your presence, And humbly seek your grace; Father, Almighty, Jehovah, Saviour, We long to meet you face to face. Let your glory fall upon us, Convict, inspire, provide; Father, Almighty, Jehovah, Saviour, Your holy presence is our guide. Here is another song where there is imagery. It’s a sense of being drawn into the arms of Jesus. At Eaglehawk Corps, the congregation enjoys singing from the song book. This has brought many childhood memories back of singing the hymns. Plus, there is a richness to the words especially when you sing to Army songs with words of blood and fire within the songs. This is the Army in me and being born into an Army family back in England. 4. If you could have a good talk with a biblical character apart from Jesus, who would it be and what would you talk about? This is a great question and who would I pick as there are so many! Esther ... Queen Esther. I would love to hear her faith journey. While God is not mentioned in this book of the Bible, from the first time her name is mentioned, I get to see how she just knows who God is and believes. I think she would have been a woman who prayed to seek the kingdom of God. She asks her uncle to trust. And she had strength when she boldly risked her life and came before the king. She was wise yet humble and had respect. 5. If you were talking to a group of Salvationists and they asked if you recommended officership or not, what would you say? If I was asked to speak to a group of Salvationists, I would start with my calling. I would let the group know while I was called at the age of 14 years, I personally didn’t want to go down this road. So, I did everything I could possibly think of and walked away. I came into officership in my 40s as I knew I could no longer fight God, and it was clear the day I said to God how “I am not going to fight you anymore”. It was the best decision, and I have not looked back. “When I think I am having a difficult day, I remember God is beside me.” Yes, I would recommend officership to anyone. It is rewarding when you are given the opportunity to journey with so many people and encourage them in this faith. This also helps me to know more about who I am with Jesus. There is a quote by Samuel Logan Brengle: “Spiritual leaders are not made by man, nor any combination of men. Neither conference, nor synods, nor councils can make them, but only God.” It’s when we fully let go of our SELF and fully rely on God. It is a calling and God has been with me every step of the way before I became an officer and since. I am grateful for each opportunity I have found in all my appointments. While I have chosen to stay in small corps, I feel that a small corps often does not always have someone with life experience, which I have had, and which I know has possibly helped someone else. I have had the privilege of seeing people come to know Jesus for the first time and grow in this faith. I have also had the privilege of praying with others, coming alongside a grieving family and sharing the hope of God’s kingdom, listening to someone from the community who is seeking assistance, and so much more. When I think I am having a difficult day, I remember God is beside me. I think back to when I was working in the secular world, and I know I am right where God has placed me. A passage that is significant for me is Isaiah 53:1, “Who has believed our message ... and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?” I see this message as a metaphor f or his triumphant power. It is said that almost every verse in this chapter is alluded to in the New Testament in reference to Jesus. God’s arm is the strength he gives me, and that he is always holding me. – Interview by Lerisse Smith
- Tanya’s Story - Lived Experience of Disability Inclusion
Tanya’s story is one of great courage and unwavering faith. Born into challenging circumstances, Tanya has never let her physical disabilities define her. Overcoming many challenges at school and then more barriers at university, Tanya has shown that we should never place limits on people with a disability. Tanya says that she leans on the people who love her. One of her favourite Bible verses is Joshua 24:15, “As for me and my house, I will serve the Lord.” She says that these words are the building blocks of her life.
- Meet the officer – Major Scott Smallacombe
1. What is your current appointment and what do you find most satisfying about it? I am currently the Corps Officer at Shepparton Corps in Victoria. One of the things I find most satisfying is also something that is more challenging about this role. Corps officership in country towns is incredibly broad, and different from in suburbia. This is both incredibly energising (lots of scope) but can risk being overwhelming (so much that needs response). 2. Away from the appointment – if that’s possible! – what do you do to relax or unwind? I don’t get heaps of time at the moment, but when I can I really enjoy walking. My longest walk was the Camino de Santiago, where I walked roughly 800km from St-Jean-Pied-de-Port in France to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. It took 36 days; most days walking about 25 km from town to town, meeting people from all around the world. 3. What’s a favourite Christian song and why do you like it? I am famous for having lots of favourites of many things: favourite songs, favourite psalms, they just keep changing. At the moment, I would say I really value the sense of mystery and awe in ‘Oceans (Where feet may fail)’, and a long-term favourite would be ‘To be like Jesus, this hope possesses me’ by John Gowans and John Larsson as it reminds me that the life of holiness is not one of musts and must-nots but rather of becoming like the one you love. 4. If you could have a good talk with a biblical character apart from Jesus, who would it be and what would you talk about? I would love to sit down with Paul as I am currently writing a Masters’ thesis looking at 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 about slavery. I think the question of slavery in the Early Church is a helpful lens through which to explore issues around the use of power in the Early Church and can speak to us still today. Paul can write to the Galatians that in the church “ there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28 NIV ), yet he never seriously challenges slavery. If I could speak to Paul, my thesis would be done in no time! 5. If you were talking to a group of Salvationists and they asked if you recommended officership or not, what would you say? Officership is not easy, but it is an incredible journey and no two journeys are the same. I have found myself doing things I would never have dreamed I might do, such as working with the homeless community, out-of-home care, alcohol and other drug recovery programs, leadership roles within social mission as well as corps officership. Each has brought different challenges, but also opportunities for learning and growth. If you suspect this is the life you’re called to, speak to someone about it. Interview by Major Mal Davies
- Put on a happy face
Who’s the grumpiest Christian you know? That’s got you thinking. I’m wondering if you’re struggling to think of one or if you’re struggling to cut the list down to just one! I recall, some years ago, a work colleague saying to me that whenever he went to the football he saw a Salvo collecting donations near the entry gate. He said that the Salvo always looked happy, and he commented to me: “I think it’s a mark of The Salvation Army that you people always look full of joy.” I appreciated the comment but also thought, “Wow, you don’t know some of the Salvos I know.” One of them soldiered at a corps I once attended; let’s call him Boris because I grew up watching Boris Badenov, grumpy antagonist to Rocky and Bullwinkle. Boris, the Salvo, was always grumpy and contrary. He’s the sort of guy that if I gave him a sack of gold, he’d complain about the weight. Boris just couldn’t find anything good to say about anything or anyone, and he’d placed himself on his own little pedestal. He seemed to operate on the theory he was always the smartest guy in the room and was constantly upset that he had to associate with the fools and rabble that were the rest of the corps. I spoke to a friend about Boris and how he was so contrary, and he smiled and said, “Don’t worry about him. Boris lives in Borisland, and he’s the only one who lives there.” At one stage I thought I’d tell him a funny joke I’d heard, just to see if I could raise a smile with him. As I finished the joke, and others within earshot laughed, he just said, “Hmpf. What a dumb thing to say. Small minds, I suppose”, and he walked away. So how do you cheer up a grumpy Christian? Here are three ideas you can try next time you’re with them. 1. Say to them, “Let’s turn that frown upside down”, and put your fingers next to their mouth and push the corners of their mouth up. They might then smile at you. They might also hit you. Who knows? At least you tried. 2. Slip a whoopy cushion under them when they sit down after a congregational song. Never fails. I’m sure they’ll laugh and laugh and laugh. Go on, try it next Sunday. 3. Say to them, “O, wise one, would you please mentor me in the ways of life and faith of which I am sadly ignorant and of which thou art knowledgeable and exemplary. It would please me no end to become more like you, my hero and true master.” Now THAT would make them smile. Or, and perhaps this is the best solution, just keep smiling and leave them alone in their grumpiness. They’ll really love that. – Major Mal Davies and his wife Major Tracey are the Corps Officers at Adelaide City Salvos











