After years of money stress, Lara is now on the road to financial freedom
This week is Anti-Poverty Week and Gambling Harm Awareness Week. Lara*, who has experienced both financial stress and been the victim of gambling harm, shares her story to encourage others, talking about the support she received from The Salvation Army’s Moneycare (free financial counselling service).
BY LARA
I am about to start a university degree, I am in the process of clearing my debts, and I am planning for a positive future. Only a few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined ever feeling hope again.
In early 2020, I finally managed to leave my nearly 25-year abusive marriage. Leaving opened up a new set of challenges that I never envisioned.
My ex-husband is a gambler, and during my marriage there was significant financial abuse. I basically had no access to money, only what he gave me. Just after I left him, my ex-husband [told me of] four credit cards in my name and said, “Good luck paying them off – they are all maxed out.”
All up there was just under $62,000 worth of credit card debt in my name. Plus, my ex had not been paying the school fees, so suddenly I had a debt of several thousand dollars as well as unpaid rates, all up totalling over $70,000.
Finding help
After a significant family violence incident, I left the marital home in a hurry with only my children, a few clothes (mainly for the kids) and the family cat.
After couch surfing with my children, I was fortunate enough to gain a rental a month later but was very stressed as to whether I would be able to keep it.
A family member’s work colleague mentioned that Moneycare had really helped her in a similar situation. So, I called Moneycare. It was one of the best things I [ever] did.
Taking control
The Moneycare counsellor Kerrie (not her real name) was really helpful in supporting me to budget as well as arrange payment plans for the debts – plans I have honoured. I have now cleared all the credit card debt. I’m still working on the others, but I have never missed a payment.
But more so, Kerrie never judged me. She helped me with the guilt and shame that came from being a victim of financial abuse. I was treated with dignity and respect and never [made to feel] stupid.
As well as the debts, I had to set up a new household with nothing.
Kerrie helped me create a workable budget, negotiate hardship arrangements for my utilities and let me know what other financial assistance was available to me.
Looking back on that horrible and stressful time (which also included COVID lockdown and remote learning), I often felt like I was still being controlled by my ex-husband.
But something Kerrie said to me at the beginning was, “You are now in control. You are in the driver’s seat, and you are filling your car with experts who will help you navigate.” She was right.
Making dreams possible
Kerrie also encouraged me to look beyond the current situation and to think about my goals. Initially, it was to just pay my rent and bills. But she kept me focused that this time would pass.
My dream is to buy a small house in the country. It’s still a few years away (about seven, I think), but I have a plan and a savings goal.
My university degree will provide me with the necessary qualifications to obtain work easily in the regional area of my choice. Once I finish university, I envision in a few years I will be able to buy that little house I dream of.
*Lara’s name and some details have been changed for privacy.
For more information on Anti-Poverty Week and resources, go to MySalvos here
