Let’s dig deeper – Salvos Online launches new-look Viewpoint
Salvos Online will now be putting a larger focus on more contemplative, theological perspectives. Look for weekly Viewpoint articles from thinkers within The Salvation Army and the church more broadly. Here, Viewpoint coordinator KIRRALEE NICOLLE discusses why sharing our views is important and why it’s important to do it well.
If you’ve done any kind of marriage preparation course or conflict resolution training, you know the lines that often crop up: don’t avoid conflict. Have the conversation. Don’t let resentment build up.
Why are these so important? Why can’t couples just coast along in a swept-under-the-rug state of disassociated bliss?
Well, according to The Gottman Institute, conflict is a “normal and natural” part of relationships that must be managed rather than avoided. In fact, some would say true intimacy with another is only possible through hard discussions where you learn perspectives that might surprise you. Any of us who are married or have been in long-term relationships have faced moments when our jaws drop to the floor, and we think, is this really the person I thought I knew? How can we move beyond this?
Every time my husband and I have those conversations, I’m always grateful to know the deeper story rather than continuing in ignorance. It always leads to connection, a better game plan for the future and a more rounded understanding of the wonderful person I stood across from at the altar almost seven years ago.
So, why do we avoid deeper conversations in the church? Why do we, as Christians, often hesitate to share our opinions and thoughts?
The reasons are many and quite understandable.
With the increasing politicisation of Christianity in the United States and now other parts of the world, the demonstrable decline in church attendance in much of the West, and the suffering and pain of those hurt by weaponised religious beliefs, there are many good reasons why most of us might choose to keep conversations at a surface level.
But what happens when we stop talking about what we think? Well, not only do we perhaps find ourselves paying to be heard in a psychologist’s or counsellor’s office, but the distance between us and our neighbours grows. And with loneliness and isolation on the rise, we can’t afford to draw further away. While professional help certainly is vital for mental health support, I wonder if the need for psychological intervention might be rarer if our communities and friendships were stronger. If we were all a little more vulnerable, we might be more empathetic, too.
It has also become clear that social marginalisation and isolation are risk factors for extremism. Typically, in smaller, isolated groups, violent or hateful views can take root, becoming a danger for both those who hold these views and the people around them.
From a spiritual perspective, discipleship happens when we expect others to have something worthwhile to offer, and we choose to listen to them and benefit from their experiences.
The bottom line is – it’s good to talk about our thoughts and feelings.
Here at Salvos Online, we are kicking off a new focus on the views, convictions, experiences, encouragements and affirmations within ours and the broader Christian community. The Viewpoint section will hopefully become a place for opening discussions and making diverse voices heard.
So, how will we go about sharing our views in an inclusive, connection-focused way?
Here are some ground rules for contributors and commenters:
Share your point of view rather than simply believing that your opinion is objective truth.
This invites discussion and a personal touch, which means we can grow in our understanding of not just a topic, but also the hearts of those around us.
Share because you love the other person and are curious about what they think.
Invite others into a two-sided conversation. Unfortunately, a blog on a website is static by nature and lacks the real dialogue that is possible in person. The comment section is the closest approximation to a conversation in this somewhat clunky online forum. However, we always welcome Viewpoints from those who may not have contributed before, and responding kindly to a previous post is also an option.
Be real with yourself and others about where your beliefs come from.
You may think your ideas come from the Bible alone, but remember – one person’s interpretation, cultural lens, comprehension and traditions may be entirely different from yours. How is it different? Let’s explore this together!
One interview that has stuck with me from my time as a journalist happened when I was covering a significant debate in another denomination. A member of the clergy who stood firmly on the conservative side of the debate stated in an interview that he believed both sides had a very good understanding of Scripture and were applying it with the utmost integrity and conviction, just reaching very different conclusions.
He extended grace with that statement. His words communicated trust and respect, even amid disagreement.
When we communicate this way, we may not make a convert, but we can make a friend.
And you know what – that might be even better. But I won’t fight you on it.
To read past Viewpoints, go to the Viewpoint tab at the top of the Salvos Online home page.
