The tools fathers give

John Chamness with his father, Phil. Image: Supplied

BY COLONEL JOHN CHAMNESS*

Father’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on the influence fathers have in shaping the lives of their children. As I think about my own father, I am reminded of the many tools he placed in my hands while growing up on a small seven-acre farm. Some of those tools were made of steel and timber, while others were values and life lessons that would guide me long after I left home. 

My father taught me how to use a variety of practical tools. Together we built our barn, we constructed fences that surrounded our property, and he showed me how to prepare the garden for planting and prune fruit trees so they would produce a healthy harvest. These lessons were about far more than manual labour. Through them, he taught me patience, perseverance, responsibility, and the satisfaction that comes from hard work. The practical skills he passed on have benefited me throughout my life and helped equip me for many of the challenges I would face. 

Yet, the greatest tools my father gave me could never be stored in a shed or toolbox. He taught me respect, honesty, integrity, honour, and a strong work ethic. He taught me how to treat people with dignity and how to carry myself as a man. Interestingly, he did not always teach these lessons through conversations or formal instruction. More often, I learned them by observation. I watched how he conducted himself, how he treated my mother, how he interacted with neighbours, and how he responded when life became difficult. His character spoke louder than words ever could. 

The Bible emphasises the important role fathers play in preparing their children for life. Proverbs 22:6 (ESV) reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Children are constantly learning from those around them. They listen to what we say, but they pay even closer attention to what we do.

Fathers have a unique opportunity to influence future generations, through both instruction and example. 

When I became a father myself, I sought to continue the legacy my father had begun. Raising my three children, I tried to provide them with practical tools that would serve them well throughout their lives. I taught my daughters how to change a tyre, understand basic vehicle maintenance, and make sure their cars were regularly serviced. I wanted them to be confident, capable, and prepared for unexpected situations. 

My son learned how to use power tools safely and how to work on his vehicle. These moments became opportunities, not just to teach practical skills, but also to build confidence and spend meaningful time together. Beyond these hands-on lessons, I taught all three of my children how to prepare their annual tax returns, manage their finances, save money and make wise decisions. These are life skills that can make a significant difference as young people step into adulthood. 

However, while practical knowledge is important, it is not the most important gift a father can give. The greatest responsibility of a father is to teach his children how to love God and love others. Children need fathers who demonstrate kindness, compassion, forgiveness and faith. They need role models who show them what a healthy marriage looks like and who teach them how to honour and respect their mothers. 

Our society desperately needs strong fathers who are willing to invest time, energy and love into the lives of their children. Fathers who teach practical lessons are valuable, but fathers who model Christ-like character are invaluable. The example we set each day leaves an imprint on the hearts of our children that can last a lifetime. 

This Father’s Day, I am grateful for a father who gave me both practical tools and spiritual foundations. His influence continues to shape my life today. I am also thankful for the opportunity I have had to pass those lessons on to my own children.

Fathers may never fully realise the impact they have, but every lesson taught, every example set, and every moment invested helps prepare the next generation. 

Never underestimate how powerful it is to be a father who leads by example. The tools we give our children today will help shape the people they become tomorrow. And some of the most valuable tools we can ever provide are faith, character, love, and a life lived faithfully before them.

*Colonel John Chamness is Chief Secretary of the Australia Territory.