What really counts at Christmas

Hospitality, by necessity, requires something of us, writes Kirralee Nicolle.

BY KIRRALEE NICOLLE

 

Australians, typically, are not known for our hospitality. It’s a bit unfortunate, because we are known for being laid-back.  

Our ‘get-off-my-lawn’ sense of personal ownership can tend to detract from the ‘throw another shrimp on the barbie’ holiday spirit, and we can often get in our own way when it comes to hosting.

I know that for me, I tend to focus too much on competing commitments in my life, and forget that when I am at home, I could extend the invitation to others to join me in my space. There’s always seemingly too much to do, and I’ll admit, the people I could spend time with are often pushed down the list.  

Christmas is the one exception. Depending on family size, we might take turns hosting each year and pay closer attention to the Woolworths magazines in the lead-up to the big day, as we try to account for diverse palates, budgets and dietary needs.  

It’s a beautiful equaliser, Christmas. We host, even when our houses aren’t perhaps as large or as fancy or as organised as that of the next person. We eat shared food around the same table, regardless of background or beliefs, and sometimes, despite those things and the challenges they can bring. If the heat is intense, we all swelter together, remaining in rooms without air conditioning simply because it is polite to do so. While the main point of Christmas is to celebrate the hope of Jesus and enjoy time with our loved ones, the day can also involve suffering.  

It can be inconvenient or even frustrating to deal with that aunt who perhaps talks too loudly and doesn’t listen well, or that cousin who rolls their eyes and refuses to engage in small talk. Perhaps a grandparent asks invasive questions, or the children’s nap schedule becomes impossible to maintain, and few in the room seem to understand. 

Hospitality, by necessity, requires something of us, and in a culture that encourages us to place ourselves at the centre of our world, that can feel uncomfortable. In many ways, it would be far easier to close our doors, blast the air conditioning and keep the world out. But hospitality is at the very heart of the Christmas story. 

While Jesus embraced the ultimate discomfort in taking on the form of a child and being born in low esteem to ultimately die on a cross, the hosts who welcomed him and his parents into their home also sacrificed their comfort. Historical accounts indicate that the room, which we know as the stable, was sectioned off from the main house, where the family and any other guests would have been staying. Imagine having a guest, whom you have never met before, give birth in your house, under a shroud of scandal? That’s hospitality.  

It puts into perspective the social slights, the frustrations over temperature and who brings which dish, and reminds us that some of the world’s greatest triumphs have been achieved through the seemingly small sacrifices of everyday people. It’s not always pretty, but it is transformational. 

As Christmas approaches, I feel the old familiar anxiety about making it all work perfectly beginning to rise, and I’m sure you do as well. I know I’m going to wince at the checkout as I purchase groceries and gifts and notice how much more expensive they are than last year. I’ve already commenced the practice of staring into the ‘room of doom’ in my house with the confusion of someone who must organise toys and clothes and endless children’s drawings into some level of order before guests arrive. I don’t know exactly where I can find good cheese for the vegans and good pastry for the coeliacs while of course, offering enough meat to keep the carnivores happy. 

But, above all else, I’m going to attempt to keep the main thing at the centre: Jesus and his sacrificial love. Because the potatoes can be perfectly cooked, the bathroom spotless, and the children all napping in unison, and love can still be absent. If you would like to practice hospitality this Christmas, here are some ideas that may or may not involve hosting, but do emphasise the fact that supporting one another at this time of year is crucial: 

• Offer to organise a street party: For some of your neighbours, loneliness could be crushing, and to think of pulling together such an event might feel impossible. Do you have the capacity to make it happen? It might have been far too long between street cricket games for someone in your area. 

• Give to the Kmart Wishing Tree Appeal: This is a simple way to offer a gift of essential care and compassion to a family who is finding life especially tough this year.  

• Purchase a gift from The Salvation Army’s Christmas Hope gift catalogue: You may not be able to invite someone over, but you can offer Christmas hampers and Christmas cheer to those in need. 

• Invite someone new to Christmas this year: Is there someone you know who has nowhere to go this Christmas, and can you extend an invitation? It might transform their day.  

• Give handmade gifts to friends and neighbours rather than purchased ones: With consumer practices fuelling growing landfills and an overinflated market, a hospitable gift to the entire planet is one that nourishes and represents thoughtfulness and care. Besides, delicious Christmas baking is possibly the highlight of the year, so why not make it into gifts! 

  
  

And whatever you decide to do, remember that acts done with love – no matter how small – are what really count. Merry Christmas!